Father’s Day for a dad with disability

Key points:

• Think about the last time you saw your father and consider if anything may have changed which could impact potential gifts or plans

• If you intend to take your father out for the day to a restaurant or function, check online for venue accessibility information

• Celebrating the lives and impact of your parents should be less about ‘the celebration’ and more about the people being celebrated — ask whether your father would like to do anything, rather than surprise him

This edition of Disability Support Guide goes out to the dads who live with a disability to recognise the amazing job they have done. As people age, the likelihood of developing a disability increases and thankfully, more adults are recognising the signs of support and diagnostic criteria of different conditions.

This article covers how to ask, organise and gift the father figure in your life with an experience they’ll cherish until next year. However, there are many different kinds of disability someone might be born with, develop or acquire throughout the course of their life, so please use your discretion when figuring out what works best for yourself and your family.

Who and how do I ask about Father’s Day plans?

If you wish to uplift the person you cherish on Father’s Day, plan at least one week ahead of time, in order to make reservations at venues, accommodate changes and ensure that the added stress of planning to celebrate is not shared. If your father is able to communicate based on the last time you interacted with him, get in contact and ask whether he has made plans for that day. If so, consider asking when he would be available to celebrate the day and if he would like to do something to commemorate the occasion.

If your father is not able to comfortably speak his mind, consider reaching out to one of his siblings, one of your siblings or your dad’s spouse to find out if they had planned anything for Father’s Day. It is generally a good idea to make sure that you reach out to your dad first rather than side-step a direct line of communication, as you want him to feel respected and capable of expressing his feelings.

Ask whether there are any upcoming events or concerns which may change plans you do make and try to find out if there have been any changes which may influence your Father’s Day planning.

If your father has yet to decide whether he would like to celebrate or what he would like to do, consider suggesting something which you think he may like, based on prior experiences. This could mean a restaurant he has enjoyed before, an activity he enjoys or whether he would like you to visit his home.

Once you’ve established what to do and where to do it, ask whether there are any arrangements you can make on his behalf or to make his life easier — ie. mobility, travel, sensory concerns, et cetera.

Once you have finalised arranging the agreed upon plans, send through a reminder or confirmation which will help to reduce anxiety over whether plans are going ahead. Then, if you feel inclined, call or send a text message to say that you’re looking forward to seeing him, as a gentle reminder in the lead up to Father’s Day. Ensure that your dad is comfortable with the guest list and make sure to send out invitations to let others know.

Making arrangements

Making arrangements is simple if you know what you’re doing and through asking, you should have a pretty good understanding of what to plan. Keep the following tips in mind when it comes to reservations and planning:

• Check online, but double check information by contacting staff, for accessibility details
• If your father lives with a condition which may be affected by something at the venue, ask if there are alternative things that can be done to avoid potential triggers
• If one reservation is unavailable and you’re looking for alternative locations, double check with your family to see if it is an appropriate substitution
• Ask about population density and see if many other people will be arriving to celebrate Father’s Day

Father’s Day gifts for dads with disability

A person is more than their disability — unless they directly tell you otherwise, make sure the gift is a tribute to their interests, rather than a reminder of something they live with.

Different dads have different hobbies, passions and fascinations and as people, those changes do happen over the course of time. If you have lived away from your parents for a while, ask your dad directly what — if anything, he would like. If that doesn’t yield a response, reach out to your father’s partner to find out more about recent fascinations.

Family gifts are always a great way to avoid messing up a great atmosphere and contributing to someone in a positive way that highlights how they have touched the lives of many people, rather than just one person. When giving a gift, let the recipient go at their own pace, rather than shoving it in their face or focusing on what gets opened first.

A few suggestions for what to get your dad this Father’s Day:

• A new watch or smart-watch

• A paid course to get invested in a hobby — ie. fishing, cooking or wine tasting

• A hardcover edition of a book which relates to one of his interests — such as a celebrity autobiography from a television show he likes

• Baked goods

• A new jacket to stay warm

• A new coffee maker which is easy to use, like the pod-based appliances

What do you plan to give your dad this Father’s Day? Let the team at Talking Disability know what you believe makes for a great gift! That’s a wrap!

Related content:

Giving birth with an invisible disability

Why some adults are ‘picky eaters’ and what to do

When is introversion an issue?