‘Tell me about yourself’ — how to respond

Key points:

• People with disability may not feel comfortable sharing details about their condition with potential employers or romantic partners at first, but others may choose to share the impact of their lived experiences

• When people are told to describe themselves in such a vague way, it is natural for them to feel anxious or uncomfortable

• It is important to read the room if you are able to easily identify facial expressions, body language and tone of voice — if not, asking someone to be more specific is perfectly okay

This edition of Disability Support Guide will assist you with responding to the dreaded prompt: ‘tell me about yourself.’ This article covers a range of different responses and how to handle such a personal question ahead of a first date, job interview, performance review or meeting.

Prior to any important meeting, it is helpful to create a list of talking points, questions and do some research to determine whether a date, job or role is right for you. Research is the greatest way to know what you should talk about and will enable you to consider phrasing your response accordingly. Research is not limited to the English language, however, as photos from an office space or of a person’s style may help to determine what to wear or how to present yourself ahead of time.

Job interview — formal response

Congratulations, reader! You’ve just scored a job interview following a successful application. If, after researching the company and role you have applied for, you determine the interview will require a formal and professional approach, consider the following:

• Recite and memorise your résumé or curriculum vitae, commonly referred to as CV

Although your experience and education were reflected in your cover letter, application, résumé and other communications — the person you have the interview with may be unfamiliar with your skillset. Additionally, this will open up further questions about your experience in each role and sector, along with giving the other person peace of mind that you are who you say you are.

• Take your time to reflect on the question if needed, rather than immediately responding

Reaction and response time are two different things and in an anxious first encounter, people may feel the impulsive and urgent need to respond. Time management is important when making a first impression as the time spent coming up with a positive response will demonstrate consideration, thought and diligence.

• Be upfront with an employer or partner prior to the first encounter

Although it is a social faux pas for a potential romantic partner and illegal for an employer to exclude or discriminate against someone for their disability — let the other party know about any potential accessibility concerns.

Job interview — informal response

An informal job interview is the perfect opportunity to flex your creativity and imagination beyond simply highlighting your experience and education. You may be able to determine an informal interview if you have been informed it will happen by:

• Phone
• Video conference
• At an out-of-office location, such as a bar, cafe or restaurant
• Group or conference assessment — working with teams to complete tasks and determine leadership

Informal interviews may require you to express yourself in a lateral manner, which can be established through:

• Humour

Keep in mind that a job interview is a job interview and employers will expect you to uphold certain standards of professionalism, but making someone else smile does not have to be crude or unprofessional. Common job interview tropes can be flipped to provide creative answers:

Prompt: “tell me about yourself.”

Response: “I would say that my greatest weakness is listening. Would you like to know about my strengths?”

• Adaptability

You may be able to stand out through preparing the appropriate technology to facilitate an interview remotely or through answering unexpected questions in interesting ways.

Prompt: “tell me about yourself.”

Response: “I arrived on time to the interview with no technology issues and you can expect a similar level of professionalism and consistency if you were to recruit me for this position.”

• Finding common ground

People work to make a living, but they live their lives because there’s always more to life than work. If you are able to flip the question or make small talk prior to initiating the meeting, consider including or referencing the employer’s interests.

Prompt: “tell me about yo— I apologise, my cat just moved across my desk.”

Response: “I love cats! What is the name of your cat? Mine is ____.”

• Speaking candidly or casually about life with disability

During an informal job interview, you may find it beneficial to share information about your condition, needs, or any challenges you face at home or in the workplace. Engaging in casual conversation can help alleviate the stress of being put on the spot or feeling like you are being interrogated in an unfamiliar environment. However, it is not necessary to discuss your disability unless it may affect your ability to perform the duties listed in the job description. Having an informal interview setting can make it easier for you to feel comfortable opening up and sharing your experiences.

First date

You may feel incredibly nervous on a first date — with added stress if you meet the other person online or if they were not previously aware of your visible disability. However, you are who you are and there is no greater version of yourself. If you are asked to summarise your life whilst on a date, use the opportunity to create additional talking points — responding with an overview of your day may serve as a vehicle to question the person you are with about their day, for instance.

For more information about finding employment as a person with disability or other tips for dating, please explore Disability Support Guide and Talking Disability. Subscribe to the Talking Disability newsletter for consumer and industry news across Australia.

Have you struggled to answer this tough question or do you have any social advice to improve tense settings? Let the team at Talking Disability know via the comment section or on social media.